Making Space

Back in the summer, I read this article from TIME about bringing back house parties and honestly, it stuck with me. Because, let’s be real, that just doesn’t happen anymore. Everyone is so busy with work, spouses, kids, and side hustles on top of side hustles. Add in the chaos of conflicting schedules, and it starts to feel impossible to plan anything. No one seems to have space physically in their calendars or mentally to be truly present.

And yet, with everyone so busy, you'd think we’re interacting more than ever. But we’re not. We’re in what the TIME article refers to as a loneliness epidemic, and few of us are truly connecting. We curate idealized lives online that are pristine and polished but often have no one to share them with in real life. Faking our connections by liking each other’s posts and exchanging silly videos, but none of it is ever real.

We’re all craving interaction, affection, connection but no one wants to ask for it. Why? Because we fear seeming “needy” or “too much.”

But is it really too much if everyone is in need of the same thing?

What Would It Look Like to Make Space?

At first, the idea of making space for people in your life sounds overwhelming. You might imagine a huge time commitment or a big financial investment. But does it really have to be that complicated?

The first step is simply accepting that real life isn’t picture-perfect and neither are our homes. Houses are messy because they’re lived in. They’re inhabited by humans, and humans are messy. I’d rather be in a home where toys are scattered because the kids were playing than in a sterile, spotless space that makes me feel like my presence is an intrusion.

The next step might be simply opening the door. This could look like once a month, cook a crock pot meal and let it be known: whoever shows up is welcome. It doesn’t need to be a perfectly curated evening. Start small, maybe tell a few coworkers, “Hey, we’re having chili on Friday if you want to come by.” If people show up, wonderful! You’ve just made a space to connect. If not, no big deal! Freeze those leftovers and try again next month.

Sure, it’s scary. The fear of no one coming. But here’s the truth: the act of creating space is never wasted. You’re showing people, and yourself, that connection matters. Over time, that kind of consistency builds community. When people know there is space for them at the table, they’ll take a seat.

People Who I’ve Seen Make Space

I have some friends who we lovingly refer to as “the frat house.” No, they’re not college guys throwing wild parties. They’re just a couple of 20-somethings who understand community. As much as I hate to admit it, these silly boys have taught me a lesson about community. Every month or so, I’ll get a text, sometimes a week in advance, sometimes the day before, inviting me to a game night, themed party, or just a random hangout. These nights have become some of my favorite memories. Not because of anything extravagant, but because there’s always room. There’s always a place to belong.

Then there’s my aunt. She and her daughters have shown me what it looks like to make space with intentionality. When I’m in town, I know the coffee is always on and the door is always open. During spring break this year, I visited her, and every day a different family member dropped in. For coffee, lunch, or just a quick chat. Granted, we have a big family, but it wasn’t about the numbers, it was about the rhythm. The openness. The way space had been made for people to come and go, to be seen and heard. 

Family gatherings are no small feat for us (we’re talking 30 people minimum most times). Not everyone fits around one glorious table. Sometimes it’s a dining table, other times it’s a some card tables and a couple of foldout chairs. And that’s okay. Because everyone has a spot. My aunt has prioritized connection in our family. This has shifted the culture in our family to be that we all make space. Big dinners take a team, and the work has become a shared act of love. It’s not just on one person to make space but many. Because as you make room, others will too.

In the end, that’s what it’s all about for me, making room at the table. Adding a chair, setting an extra place.

Because you never know who might need the transformative power of being seen, welcomed, and comforted by a warm meal.

That’s all for now! Talk soon. - C

If you would like to read the TIME article I referred to you can find that here: https://time.com/7296702/bring-back-house-parties-essay/