Talking to Strangers - Intro
Hi, I’m Carley!
I love plants, reading, writing, beverages of all kinds, and I really like when I burn the roof of my mouth on frozen pizza because the next day I’m reminded that I was able to eat and enjoy something delicious. I also like talking to strangers. So let’s talk about it! The strangers part, not the pizza thing…
I love connecting with someone and hearing about their life and the people and/or things they love. Because truly, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. When we live in a world that is primarily online it is treated like this big ambitious thing to talk to someone you don’t know and start up a conversation with them. We think it’s safer to hide behind a screen where our true feelings cannot be conveyed and where we have unlimited time to create the perfect response. If you can’t see me you can’t hurt me…right? But there is nothing better than creating a connection and being seen and cared for just as you are. Part of our human wiring is created for connection. Good news, because of the way we are naturally wired, most other people actually crave that connection and will happily join your conversation if you’re brave enough to start it. So it doesn’t have to be that scary or ambitious at all!
I also love writing and creating in general. Telling a story and helping people see something in a new way. This summer I thought I could intentionally practice these two things that I love and grow in them as skills. Key word here is PRACTICE. Because this is real life, and I’m not hiding behind a screen and interacting solely online I’m gonna mess up, I might say the wrong thing, and that’s okay! You learn more from messing up than you do from giving up.
Every week in the summer I’m gonna talk to at least one stranger and write a little bit about our interaction. Who knows who I’ll meet. But I’m excited to practice and to progress. Like any good plan we need a little structure. This is how I plan to lay out each week of conversations:
Setting - Give some context into where we are and the general vibe (is this a space where conversation naturally happens? are we at an art gallery? are we at a wedding? are we at a coffee shop?)
A connection point - This is the main thing that starts up your conversation. (like a unique looking drink, their style is super cool, they have a dog, etc.)
A branch - this is where you veer off into an actual conversation based on an off shoot from your conversation point. (their drink is a raspberry manhattan, their dress is from a vintage shop in Pennsylvania, their dog is a terrier dachshund mix)
A pull - this is where you ask a question from your branch and learn a little something, whether it’s a fun fact or a sweet story. (is your drink tasty, should I get one? What were you doing in Pennsylvania? How old is your dog?)
From there you can naturally keep a decent flow of conversation. The key is asking the other person questions and really listening to what they are saying, normally as you’re listening you’ll catch a point that makes you want to know more or dig a little deeper. Most people really like talking about themselves, so it’s pretty easy to keep on the same track.
So join me as I talk to strangers and learn new things. Practicing slowing down to really listen and remember so I can talk about it again. Everyone has a story to tell, what a gift that we get to listen.
That’s all for now folks,
Carley